Mind My Children’s Manners

I went to a birthday party for twin littlies over the weekend and Noah came with me. Of course, he’s nine so he was a little old to be at a party for one year olds, but he loved it nonetheless. He generally plays well with others, despite his “unsocialised” homeschool upbringing. It wasn’t long before he was entertaining himself and didn’t need me anymore. That’s the nice thing about being a parent to a tween. Is he a tween yet? Almost.

While I sat on a couch and watched him play through the window, a lady with two adorable 7 month old twins congratulated me on Noah’s manners. Now, honestly, I don’t know if I’m responsible for his manners. I like to think so. But sometimes I think he just came out that way and I got super lucky. The compliment came at a really good time though, because I had a distinct lack of manners on my mind. And worrying about the level of manners in my kids was a very current concern.  (more…)

My Husband is Trying to Kill Me

Ok not really, of course. But he might be trying to chip away at my sanity, a little. Or a lot. Is this what normal husbands do?

I’m sitting here dreading the consumption of my next shake. As you may know I have taken to using meal replacements as a way to ensure that I actually eat during the day, because my habit of skipping both breakfast and lunch for a very long period of time has sent me to health jail. Ok maybe not health jail…. What would health jail even be?  (more…)

Kefir Makes You Poop

So I’m at that age where conversations about bowel movements have become a regular occurrence. Yes. I said “regular”….*snort*giggle*fart*oops* (as an aside… taking a selfie to go along with this post was really awkward…. like how even do you make sure you’re not accidentally pulling a poo face to go with your poo post…?)

When your family is in the wellness industry, poop talk is just par for the course really. It’s one of the biggest complaints I have heard in my years of being around people who are looking to learn about Herbalife. I don’t go to the loo enough. Ag shame, then you can’t help but feel sorry for the person because let’s be honest a good poo at the right moment can feel life changing. (more…)

What Went Wrong: I think I figured it out

I think probably my favourite thing about television, or fiction in general really, is that for the most part there is a very high emphasis on closure and they always manage to figure out what went wrong. Someone sets out to pursue a dream, they get there eventually. Someone is murdered, they figure out who did it. Someone is mysteriously ill, the doctors figure out why.

Real life doesn’t really work that way too often.

At the height of my failing health last year I couldn’t bring myself to see a doctor. I should have. But if you understand a smidge about depression and anxiety you can understand that sometimes the executive functioning needed to do such a thing is just not there. You’ll laugh, but when I’m feeling better I’ll be able to go and see the doctor… I’m not even kidding. (more…)

How the health stuff is going…

So I’ve been on a low-key health journey over the last 6 months or so. This is mostly thanks to my mother and husband who have pretty much spoonfed me through the entire thing. From my folks sponsoring me with Herbalife products to my husband ensuring that I take all the supplements that I need daily… Where would I be without them? Yikes…

I don’t know if I particularly mentioned it but I was feeling suicidal last year. Yes, that’s a fucking huge thing to say, and believe me I don’t say it lightly. The thing is, I got to a point where my body was so flat and my head was constantly whirring and I actually just couldn’t anymore. A combination of personal stuff and plain health stuff stirred up a cocktail of some scary ideations. This is why health is so important. Because it was my body driving my mind crazy. (more…)

10 Thoughts I’ve Had Since Forking Up My Hair

So I still haven’t made any moves towards fixing my ginger mop of hair. Ma says it looks ok. Husband says it looks ok. And I’m just sitting here going surely you have figured out by now that when things don’t go to plan I completely wig out… (“wig” out: hahahahahahahahaha!)

This wasn’t the plan…so it definitely it’s not going to be the accepted result.

I was thinking maybe I should deep condition it so long just to feel like I’m actually doing something.

Anyway…

I still don’t really know what to do. And my brain is not helping AT ALL which is frustrating because usually the logical solution in these types of situations is stumbled upon with a bit of thinking. But for now brain is like no dude I’m too busy laughing at you I have no real solutions…

My brain is an asshole.

So far this is what it has come up with:  (more…)

How to Fork Up Your Hair in 75 Easy Steps

So I’ve been kind of loving my hair lately. You see, I’ve been dyeing it a little for the last couple of years. You know, those greys sneak up on you in your twenties (especially if you have super dark hair like mine) and you kind of freak out because omigosh I’m too young to be old and then out comes the Loreal. Because you’re worth it. Or something.

Of course, much to the upturned noses of my hairdresser friends, I’ve been using box dye. Mostly because I can’t afford to maintain monthly visits to the salon for upkeep, but also partly because I have yet to actually acquire anyone in this town who I consider to be “my” hairdresser…

Anyway, a year ago I stopped dying my hair because being old is a gift and fuck it I hate dying my hair. I also LOVE long grey hair. It’s fucking beautiful, man. Have you ever seen a woman with long naturally grey hair? One of my earliest memories is of my great-grandmother, Harriet Larter, and how she had this mane of long silver hair that she wore up in a bun. When she let it out though, it went all the way down to her bum. And she would sit in the sun and let it dry after washing it. God it was gorgeous. My tiny self approved. My grownup self approves too.

And so I started growing out my greys… Because you can’t have glorious grey hair if you keep covering it up with henna (horror of horrors I switched from box dye to henna somewhere along the line because henna doesn’t chew holes in my skull – hairdressers disapprove of this even more).

Guys: it was going well. I imagine most folks would look at me through the goggles of societal expectation and go “what on earth is she doing she’s let herself go – she’s now fat AND grey” but I was loving my grey streaks.

Just one problem though. The bottom half of my main didn’t have grey streaks. It had blonde streaks. These streaks used to be grey, but after years of faded hair dye, they were a kind of golden yellow. Quite like the colour of urine.

So I had a brilliant plan!  (more…)

Superwoman Turned Me Into Wonderwoman

As you may have noticed I’ve been on a bit of a mindfulness journey in an attempt to centre myself a little and get myself to a point where I no longer feel like I’m losing my mind or my health. A tall order, perhaps. Of course, as I go through this journey, I do find myself looking at the women around me and asking myself that all important question: How does she do it?

Without a doubt, the woman who inspires this question in me the most is Tersia Muston from Geek World. Never have I seen anyone hustle like this lady does! And boy do I find her inspiring. I’m even coming to the conclusion that she’s pretty much clothed the entire geek population of Port Elizabeth. Because seriously! Just ask a question about where to get some crazy design printed on a T-shirt and there’s Tersia, sticking up her hand to help. All the while running an online shop and frequently manning a  geeky stall at various markets around town and navigating the trials of motherhood. AND she has a photography business as well.

Tersia: for all of this I salute you! (more…)

In Watermelon Sugar but Richard Brautigan

In Watermelon SugarIn Watermelon Sugar by Richard Brautigan
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Definitely one of the strangest but most original books I have ever read. Strange that it is such an old story when it seems so contemporary. I can’t quite explain the absolute weirdness of it. It’s sort of a book about the writing of the book itself. Usually I find that kind of thing quite obnoxious but it just worked with this one. To the character Margaret: I loved you the most. To the unnamed narrator: you chose the wrong girl.

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NuTan: More Than Just a Tan

My friend Amelia from Voxate and Suddenly a Mom does some freelance work for a company called NuTan, and when they were looking for some folks to try out their new tanning patches I’m quite sure she told them that she knows a girl who, despite living in sunny South Africa, is whiter than the Irish. And then surely they went “well if we can make the snow lady turn brown then we are the greatest company ever”. And so it came to be that I found myself gifted with a box of tanning patches.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Nadine? With a tan? Haha! And there you go just laughing and stuff. Honestly that just makes you a mean ol’ meanie… You should stop that… I’m just kidding.

I’m aware that “tanning products” are not really my speed (I suck at even those spray fake tanning products that are supposed to be fool proof – I mean really does everyone get those things as wrong as I do?) but I have been doing the whole Learning to Girl thing so I accepted the gift with some significant excitement at the idea of potentially being milky-tea coloured instead of just milk-coloured. You know?

Anyway, I completely screwed up using this product! Basically, NuTan has these little patches that you can use to get yourself one of those brown-as-a-berry tans naturally. Of course I’ve never been brown as a berry (nor do I know of many berries that are actually brown so seriously our South African slang needs some work) but I’m keen to try on the look. (more…)