10 Thoughts I’ve Had Since Forking Up My Hair

So I still haven’t made any moves towards fixing my ginger mop of hair. Ma says it looks ok. Husband says it looks ok. And I’m just sitting here going surely you have figured out by now that when things don’t go to plan I completely wig out… (“wig” out: hahahahahahahahaha!)

This wasn’t the plan…so it definitely it’s not going to be the accepted result.

I was thinking maybe I should deep condition it so long just to feel like I’m actually doing something.


I still don’t really know what to do. And my brain is not helping AT ALL which is frustrating because usually the logical solution in these types of situations is stumbled upon with a bit of thinking. But for now brain is like no dude I’m too busy laughing at you I have no real solutions…

My brain is an asshole.

So far this is what it has come up with: 

1.) Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

2.) It’s kind of weird how that bleachy stuff worked on your head but you spent your whole adolescence trying to bleach the hair on your arms and belly (to avoid being called gorilla and having idiot boys insist on pulling up your shirt to check out your garden path) and yet not once ever did you manage to get any of that dark hair to change colour. 15 minutes with “lightener” (which sounds so benign like it’s legit going to do fokkol) on your head and hello have some orange hair, dumbass.

3.) I have an excuse to wear my hats now.

4.) I should buy more hats.

5.) Why did I need an “excuse” to wear hats in the first place?

6.) The regrowth on this mess is going to be hell.

7.) I should shave my head.

8.) Shaving my head will make my husband way too smug. Can’t shave my head.

9.) Will my hair fall out now?

10.) Oh my god my hair used to be so pretty….

No solutions…

At least no low-maintenance ones.

Actually my hair wasn’t pretty I’m just having a crisis and am in denial about my pre-forked-up hair prettiness. It was kinda patchy before. Now it’s just more patchy…

Anyone know where I can buy some cool hats?

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