First of all I would like to point out that it is very hard to adjust to typing without my middle finger. I was hoping for some sort of compensating brain-override but no. I keep trying to bash all of the third-from-the-right keys with my heavily bandaged middle finger and it’s all kinds of not working.
Not Working pretty much describes how everything feels right now. I am not coping. I get that this is likely to be an autistic tic at play here, I do. And with that in mind I keep trying to talk myself down and give myself a break as I am aware that I need to forgive myself for my neuro-atypicalities. It’s Not Working.
Basically, for those who don’t know, I jumped between my fighting dogs. I KNOW you’re not supposed to do this. I knew I wasn’t supposed to do it as I was doing. I KNOW water is the solution. But all I could think is “Maisie is going to kill Angus and Noah will jump in if I don’t”. I was not ok with either of them getting hurt and cared nothing for any risks to myself.
What an idiot. (more…)