How the health stuff is going…

So I’ve been on a low-key health journey over the last 6 months or so. This is mostly thanks to my mother and husband who have pretty much spoonfed me through the entire thing. From my folks sponsoring me with Herbalife products to my husband ensuring that I take all the supplements that I need daily… Where would I be without them? Yikes…

I don’t know if I particularly mentioned it but I was feeling suicidal last year. Yes, that’s a fucking huge thing to say, and believe me I don’t say it lightly. The thing is, I got to a point where my body was so flat and my head was constantly whirring and I actually just couldn’t anymore. A combination of personal stuff and plain health stuff stirred up a cocktail of some scary ideations. This is why health is so important. Because it was my body driving my mind crazy. (more…)

10 Thoughts I’ve Had Since Forking Up My Hair

So I still haven’t made any moves towards fixing my ginger mop of hair. Ma says it looks ok. Husband says it looks ok. And I’m just sitting here going surely you have figured out by now that when things don’t go to plan I completely wig out… (“wig” out: hahahahahahahahaha!)

This wasn’t the plan…so it definitely it’s not going to be the accepted result.

I was thinking maybe I should deep condition it so long just to feel like I’m actually doing something.

Anyway…

I still don’t really know what to do. And my brain is not helping AT ALL which is frustrating because usually the logical solution in these types of situations is stumbled upon with a bit of thinking. But for now brain is like no dude I’m too busy laughing at you I have no real solutions…

My brain is an asshole.

So far this is what it has come up with:  (more…)

How to Fork Up Your Hair in 75 Easy Steps

So I’ve been kind of loving my hair lately. You see, I’ve been dyeing it a little for the last couple of years. You know, those greys sneak up on you in your twenties (especially if you have super dark hair like mine) and you kind of freak out because omigosh I’m too young to be old and then out comes the Loreal. Because you’re worth it. Or something.

Of course, much to the upturned noses of my hairdresser friends, I’ve been using box dye. Mostly because I can’t afford to maintain monthly visits to the salon for upkeep, but also partly because I have yet to actually acquire anyone in this town who I consider to be “my” hairdresser…

Anyway, a year ago I stopped dying my hair because being old is a gift and fuck it I hate dying my hair. I also LOVE long grey hair. It’s fucking beautiful, man. Have you ever seen a woman with long naturally grey hair? One of my earliest memories is of my great-grandmother, Harriet Larter, and how she had this mane of long silver hair that she wore up in a bun. When she let it out though, it went all the way down to her bum. And she would sit in the sun and let it dry after washing it. God it was gorgeous. My tiny self approved. My grownup self approves too.

And so I started growing out my greys… Because you can’t have glorious grey hair if you keep covering it up with henna (horror of horrors I switched from box dye to henna somewhere along the line because henna doesn’t chew holes in my skull – hairdressers disapprove of this even more).

Guys: it was going well. I imagine most folks would look at me through the goggles of societal expectation and go “what on earth is she doing she’s let herself go – she’s now fat AND grey” but I was loving my grey streaks.

Just one problem though. The bottom half of my main didn’t have grey streaks. It had blonde streaks. These streaks used to be grey, but after years of faded hair dye, they were a kind of golden yellow. Quite like the colour of urine.

So I had a brilliant plan!  (more…)

Superwoman Turned Me Into Wonderwoman

As you may have noticed I’ve been on a bit of a mindfulness journey in an attempt to centre myself a little and get myself to a point where I no longer feel like I’m losing my mind or my health. A tall order, perhaps. Of course, as I go through this journey, I do find myself looking at the women around me and asking myself that all important question: How does she do it?

Without a doubt, the woman who inspires this question in me the most is Tersia Muston from Geek World. Never have I seen anyone hustle like this lady does! And boy do I find her inspiring. I’m even coming to the conclusion that she’s pretty much clothed the entire geek population of Port Elizabeth. Because seriously! Just ask a question about where to get some crazy design printed on a T-shirt and there’s Tersia, sticking up her hand to help. All the while running an online shop and frequently manning a  geeky stall at various markets around town and navigating the trials of motherhood. AND she has a photography business as well.

Tersia: for all of this I salute you! (more…)

NuTan: More Than Just a Tan

My friend Amelia from Voxate and Suddenly a Mom does some freelance work for a company called NuTan, and when they were looking for some folks to try out their new tanning patches I’m quite sure she told them that she knows a girl who, despite living in sunny South Africa, is whiter than the Irish. And then surely they went “well if we can make the snow lady turn brown then we are the greatest company ever”. And so it came to be that I found myself gifted with a box of tanning patches.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Nadine? With a tan? Haha! And there you go just laughing and stuff. Honestly that just makes you a mean ol’ meanie… You should stop that… I’m just kidding.

I’m aware that “tanning products” are not really my speed (I suck at even those spray fake tanning products that are supposed to be fool proof – I mean really does everyone get those things as wrong as I do?) but I have been doing the whole Learning to Girl thing so I accepted the gift with some significant excitement at the idea of potentially being milky-tea coloured instead of just milk-coloured. You know?

Anyway, I completely screwed up using this product! Basically, NuTan has these little patches that you can use to get yourself one of those brown-as-a-berry tans naturally. Of course I’ve never been brown as a berry (nor do I know of many berries that are actually brown so seriously our South African slang needs some work) but I’m keen to try on the look. (more…)

How does coffee work?

I’m a freeze-dried coffee girl. I’m sure if you follow me on Facebook or Instagram you probably are under the mistaken impression that I am some sort of coffee connoisseur. I assure you I am not. My only coffee snobbery exists in the form of judgement upon those who pronounce espresso with an X. Otherwise I’m just a chick who digs boiling the kettle and indulging in a cup of instant.

I have a bodum. I have a drip filter machine thingy. I even have one of those cute pots where you put the water at the bottom and then it bubbles up into the top. Who even knows what they’re called? And my friend Michele, who is always way too generous with me, even gave a fancy as hell pod machine which makes some seriously good tasting coffee.

But, as Michele knows, I am a freeze-dried girl. So lately Michele (who runs a coffee machine repair business) has been giving me giant 500g bags of freeze dried coffee as well.

And this is where my confusion comes in… (more…)

What a Difference a Day Makes

It’s crazy what a difference a day makes. Two or three weeks ago, I made a financial decision that I sort of thought was ok to make at the time. For the first time in a while I was feeling kinda solvent. Or solvent-adjacent at least. Like the potential for solvency was just within my reach. It was the kind of financial decision that spans over a few months and takes a bit of dedicated attention. I felt almost ok with going with it, and decided to err on the side of bravery. Because I have this thing where I am trying to be bolder. Living bolder. Eking out an existence that I can look back on and smile about. It’s hard work. It’s hell on my anxiety issues. But it’s worth it.

And then in a day it all came crashing down. Because what a difference a day makes. Suddenly our rent went up again (seriously: how on earth is anyone supposed to handle a yearly 10% rental increase? Our rent is double what it was when we moved in already! Our salaries have definitely not doubled!) and for March our grocery budget is now half of what is usually is because in addition to the increased rent, overtime on Ty’s part usually kind of makes up the “can we or can we not eat this month” portion of our lives and last month his overtime was a little on the low side. And then our bedroom TV died, which is not that huge a deal except it kind of is because I escape to my room a lot and kind of just do things with the TV on in the background and I find it soothing and it keeps me sane. But it’s dead now. Replacing it is definitely not an option.

So, while two weeks ago, these little glitches would have felt surmountable, this week they did not.  (more…)

With A Little Help From My Friends

My cat is going to be the death of me. Ok, perhaps not the death of my physical body. But the death of my sanity at the very least. Some of my brain cells will definitely die. And perhaps my sense of humour as well. That one will be the first to go.

Without going into too much boring detail, he’s been having severe bladder issues since the end of December. His bladder keeps forming crystals, which I now understand to be the result of his kidneys being unable to process minerals in his food. At first I was under the impression that it was just a cheap food problem that would be resolved by feeding him better food. Alas. He’s just had to go in and have his bladder rinsed (or something) again.

This pet madness is undoubtedly driving me mad. The first time he had this problem the bill was R3600.  At the same time, Angus had to have a surgery on his leg that cost me just under 10 grand.

And the only reason I coped at all was because my friends rallied around me and made it work. Something I still feel completely undeserving of.

The craziest part is this: here I am, not yet done reeling for the last time this happened, and it’s happened again. Again at a frustratingly bad time. But then I guess that’s what credit cards are for, right? Of course. Unless they’re maxed out because sometimes you make bad decisions that seem like a good idea at the time because hey, you’ve got all your financial capabilities worked out, right? Wrong. Because you forgot to factor in The Universe and the fact that she has a dark sense of humour sometimes…

I am, however, super lucky because I have an amazing circle of friends who have rallied around me when I needed them most and even though my anxious mind will never feel deserving of this much love, I am certainly ever so grateful!

Strangely Perfect Timing

Yesterday I mentioned that I had an experience that had me questioning the merits of faith and Godliness after an encounter with a man in the hospital where I was with my friend and her son. Something else happened that day and it took writing down yesterday’s story to kind of question whether they may not be tied together. Probably no, but anyway. Sometimes when you’re a writer you think weird things.

The man that who approached us in the waiting area said these words to us:

“I think God put us in the same place for a reason.”

He seemed to be quite convinced that God wanted him to talk to us. And I thought, that’s a bit of an over-romantic notion, dude. I’m not really of the sort to believe that sort of thing. After all, in the wake of my severed relationship with the The Almighty, I have myself tried to revive my own faith. I even chose to read a book by a Jesus-y woman. A very un-me thing to do, I’ll have you know. And I still go to church. And I still love gospel music. Although I’ve pretty much resigned myself to, you’re broken, chick, just go with it. (more…)

Who is your rock?

Yesterday was a tough one. I woke up to a message from a close friend saying she’d taken her teenage son to the emergency room after he had (accidentally) overdosed on something. They were worried about organ failure and brain damage and she was terrified. My blood went cold.

It’s going to be ok. I should let you know that from the start. Between kind and efficient doctors and nurses and the kid having a mom who hustles to make things happen when they need to happen, he’s going to be just fine. (though he may have a bruise on his ass when he’s well enough for me to kick it)

Something happened though, while we were waiting for him to wake up, that has been on my mind for a while. When I got there my friend poured her heart out to me. And because we were in the emergency room, the privacy wasn’t exactly top notch, so people could hear us. And then as her child was being moved, a man came up to us and asked if he could speak to us. I let me friend follow her child’s bed, and myself and her boyfriend stayed behind to listen to the man. (more…)